Conversations we avoid?

It was nearly two years ago that I first had the idea for a 'Funeral Fair'. And so it was great that finally on Saturday 8 September, Buckingham Town Council convened its first 'Good Endings Fair'. This was a unique event and was all that I hoped it would be. We had 20 stalls in all and over 120 people visited the event. (And the WI provided tea and cakes were scrumptious!) The stall holders I spoke with all said that they would come back again for a future occasion. Many people have asked me why it is important to have conversations about death and dying, and for this event in particular about the logistics of how to make someone's passing as good as it can be. Here are a few of the reasons why:

1) When someone dies, usually the arrangements have to made under great time and emotional pressure. If we talk about those arrangements beforehand, the whole process can be so much easier, allowing more time for people to reflect and grieve for the person who has died.

2) Funerals are an expensive business, costing hundreds and thousands of pounds. Making plans in advance can help to manage those costs and perhaps reduce them when choice A is made over choice B. Again there is enough grief when someone dies. Adding huge worries about money to that does not help and can cause severe stress and tension between family members.

3) There are many more choices these days about how to conduct a funeral in terms of (say) where the person is to be buried, in what and with whom officiating. Equally there are many lovely ideas as to how to use someone's ashes to commemorate them. Talking about all this before the moment that someone dies means that more choices can be considered and made.

4) Most of us know of someone who died without a will and the problems that can cause. Only last week I heard of someone whose mother had died intestate (without a will) and it took four years to sort out her estate. That was four years of administration and hassle that I am sure that person could have done without.

5) And there are arrangements which can be put in place for people who are approaching their end which means family members can help to manage their financial affairs and even choices over medical care.

There are many more reasons I am sure. This is why conversations are important: such discussions can help the worst of times become just that little less painful.

So thank you to everyone who helped make this event happen (several town councillors and staff), all those who ran one of the stalls (including the refreshments), and everyone who came along. Some good conversations were had.

We do have lots of leaflet packs left over, so if you would like one, please contact Amanda at the Town Council offices. There is some very useful information inside. And reading it won't bring death any closer!

Some pics from the people setting up.

 

And the list of who was there:

Dogs Trust Kenilworth - http://www.dogstrust.org.uk

Willen Hospice - https://www.willen-hospice.org.uk/

Salvation Army Buckingham Corps -
https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/buckingham

Buckingham University Law Dept - https://www.buckingham.ac.uk/law

Chandler Ray - http://www.chandlerray.co.uk/

Gilroy Steel Solicitors - http://gilroysteel.com/

Country Funerals - https://www.countryfunerals.uk/

Heritage & Sons - https://www.cpjfield.co.uk/heritage-and-son/

Spratt Endicott - https://www.se-law.co.uk/contact/buckingham-office

Ian Noakes, Civil Funeral Celebrant - http://www.iannoakescelebrant.co.uk/

Aylesbury Vale Natural Burial Meadow -  www.aylesburynaturalburials.co.uk

Cosgrove Green Burial Meadow - info@cosgrovegreenburial.co.uk   

Buckingham Wills & Probate - https://buckinghamwillsandprobate.co.uk

The Co-operative Funeral Care - http://www.coopfunerals.co.uk/our-funeral-directors/Buckingham/

Buckingham Town Council Cemetery History - https://www.buckingham-tc.gov.uk/our-services/cemetery/

Feet First Coffins - http://www.feetfirstcoffins.co.uk/

Lorimers – Buckingham - https://www.lorimers-solicitors.co.uk

Book Corner - c/o Buckingham Library and the Mayoress

Cantlos music - http://www.cantlos.com/

WI - https://www.facebook.com/BuckinghamWI